


silence

by destinedtobelokid



Series: one word prompts [21]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Gen, Implied/Referenced Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-09
Updated: 2013-08-09
Packaged: 2017-12-22 21:24:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/918172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/destinedtobelokid/pseuds/destinedtobelokid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Aithusa often thinks the silence is her punishment for betraying her destiny. For betraying her Lord.</p>
            </blockquote>





	silence

After her Mistress passes, Aithusa raises her head and wails.

Later, only hours later, Aithusa cowers as her Dragonlord's grief wrecks her body in cold shuddering waves.

It is their connection, that bond shared only between Dragonlord and dragon. Aithusa can feel her Dragonlord's feelings as if they were her own.

His grief is painful; a shuddering sob leaves Aithusa whimpering. A scream and her claws dig into the dirt, scratching deep into the soil. A gasp of air and a pitiful Arthur and Aithusa closes her eyes and whines. If she were human, as her Lord, she would have cried.

/-/-/

It takes two days for her Dragonlord's grief to shallow.

He hasn't slept; Aithusa can feel it in her bones, the deep ache for sleep that he studiously ignores.

The sun is high when Aithusa takes flight. Her wings burn and the stretch of flying has always been agony, but she puts her own pain behind her.

As she soars closer, Kilgarrah's voice rings in her ears, He will refuse your company. You have failed him, hatchling.

She knows she has done wrong. She can feel her Lord's rage, tempered only the the distress of his loss.

She curls her wings around her body as she spirals from the cover of the clouds to descend to the ground.

/-/-/

He's sitting at the Lake's edge, the calm water lapping at his shoed feet. His knees are drawn up to his chest and his arms curled around his shins, holding himself together.

He is silent, now. Eyes staring into the shimmering water. He doesn't move when Aithusa lands on the bank, several feet behind him.

His breath is hitched, and Aithusa can feel the anger bubbling beneath his skin.

She lowers herself down, her belly brushing against the ground as she comes closer.

Aithusa lifts her smout off the ground and nudges his shoulder.

"Go away." Her Dragonlord growls, cringing away from her touch.

There is a heat to his voice. Her Lord is tired and weak and in this instance, painfully mortal with his emotions. But there is a fire in his heart, burning as hot as a dragon's flame. Aithusa whines, low in her throat and takes a step forward, lowering her snout to graze at the stony bank of the lake.

"I said, leave." The command rings through the air and bites at her throat, stopping her from protesting further.

She has no choice. His command is final. She cannot fight it.

Aithusa flies.

/-/-/

That night, Aithusa settles on the other side of the lake. She curls herself at the base of a nearby tree and watches.

A knight, wearing Camelot's colours, finds her Lord in the early hours of dawn.

They talk. Her Dragonlord's voice is short and pained. The knight reaches for him, tries to embrace him, but her Lord flinches and moves out of reach.

"Go home." He orders shortly, but the knight doesn't move, only frowns.

"Merlin-?"

"The King is dead. Tell Camelot."

Her Lord turns away from the knight.

"Mer-"

"Percival. I wish the Queen well."

"You're not coming back?"

"I... I can't."

It is then, when her Lord's voice cracks and he turns away, arms curling around his torso, that Aithusa knows he is broken.

/-/-/

After the knight leaves, her Lord sinks to his knees and sucumbs to another bout of sorrow.

She dances uneasily on her toes. There is a tug in her chest, pulling her- begging her- to comfort him. She can feel his despair in her chest, a slow aching burn that rises with every sob and crashes with every hitched breath.

"Why did you help Morgana?" Her Lord's eyes burn through the distance between them and into Aithusa. She backs away, slinking into the dense cover of forest.

Aithusa offers no reply. She doesn't know how.

/-/-/

An hour later Aithusa's Dragonlord raises his head to look at her. His eyes are no longer clouded by tears, but instead burned with anger.

"I want you to leave me." He doesn't command her.

Aithusa shakes her head, opening her mouth to let out a murmur of a cry. She cannot leave him. She will not.

Her Dragonlord sighs and leaves the clearing. Aithusa expects him to come back, but he doesn't. He continues walking for the remainder of the day and well into the night.

Aithusa follows.

/-/-/

Her Lord's footsteps lead to a small village.

Aithusa creeps through the dark paths of the human settlement, and she follows the sound of her Lord's sharp breathing and the unsteady beat of his heart.

He is held by a woman, who smooths his hair and wipes away his tears. The woman looks up and sees Aithusa through the window. Her eyes are not fearful, as other human's would be. Instead she smiles and rests her chin on Aithusa's Lord's head.

Aithusa can feel the woman's warmth, can feel the calming affect the woman has on her Lord.

This woman feels like kin.

/-/-/

Aithusa wakes, from her rest outside the woman's house. Aithusa's heart feels cold and tight. She croons and closes her eyes.

An hour later, she feels the life draining out of Kilgarrah and the rush as his magic sweeps back into the Earth.

From within the house, Aithusa hears her Dragonlord shift and sit up.

"He's gone." His voice is hollow and when she stands and peers over at him through the window, his eyes reflect the sheen of tears.

/-/-/

Her Lord sits down before her. He's quiet for a moment, and Aithusa watches him closely. His own eyes scan over her, although they never meet her eyes.

"I'll heal you. Will you let me?"

Aithusa lowers her head, resting her snout on the ground, her nose brushing against the cloth covering his knee.

Her Lord leans forward, and his hands rest on her forehead and the muscles of her neck.

His magic flushes from his body, illuminating him with gold and blue.

Aithusa whimpers in discomfort as her body shifts and fixes.

"You can leave. I don't own you." Her Lord says when she is healed and resting.

/-/-/

Aithusa does not leave her Lord. Not truly.

Time passes. Aithusa grows. Her Lord does not change. The kin-woman grows and ages and soon she leaves them.

Her Dragonlord's grief is hollow.

He ventures into the depth of magic, of seeing. When his eyes bleed back into blue, he dissolves into tears. He mourns Camelot and all he once knew and loved.

As he sobs, dry and choked, Aithusa can feel that deep inside him, he is empty. He has no more to grieve.

He is alone. More alone than Aithusa will ever be.

/-/-/

"I understand, Aithusa."

Her name, said in the low tone of her Lord's voice, sends a spike of happiness through her body. But the forgiveness in his words is frail.

"She was there for you when I was not." He whispers. "You didn't know the consequences of what she asked."

It has been so many years since Aithusa's Mistress fell, and her Lord's King passed. The anger her Dragonlord had felt has worn away over time, smoothed down into a strong dislike. It hurts, but Aithusa knows she deserves his hate.

/-/-/

When the forest thins, and man's footsteps deepen on the Earth, Aithusa takes to the mountains.

Her Lord doesn't follow, but neither does their bond weaken.

When man conquers the mountains, Aithusa flees to the cold depths of the North. There are men here, but they do not dare come as deep into this land as Aithusa.

At times, when her Lord's loneliness and guilt becomes unbearable, Aithusa will descend to the home her Lord takes shelter, and soothe him as best she knows.

He will sit by her, leaning against her side, and read his books while one of his hands smooth over her scales. Aithusa will hum, low and pleased but they will sit in silence.

Aithusa may have her Lord's forgiveness, and he does not have to fear her betrayal, but there is nothing time can do to erase the wrongs she caused him.

/-/-/

It takes Aithusa by surprise, when her Lord's heart sings in happiness.

She leaves her home of monstrous ice cliffs where no man would be daft enough to venture and under the veil of magic, she weaves through the clouds and finds her way to her Lord.

He is tangled in a sweet embrace with his King.

Aithusa croons and her Lord raises his head and smiles at her.

She hasn't seen him smile so bright and genuine since the day of her very birth, so many years ago.

/-/-/

When the King falls, Aithusa's Lord returns his body to the Lake.

He keeps the sword.

/-/-/

Aithusa can see the magic- the dragon's breath- that clings to the sword.

She knows what her Lord could do with such a weapon.

She does not stop her Lord from falling. She can't. He ordered her away.

/-/-/

Silence had stretched between her and her Dragonlord for centuries.

And when he followed his King into Avalon, the silence became deafening with the screams of dying magic.

She still remembers Kilgarrah's words when she was only seconds hatched.

A white dragon will bode well for Camelot.

She will bode well for Camelot.

Aithusa often thinks the silence is her punishment for betraying her destiny. For betraying her Lord.

/-/-/


End file.
